Bust my ass to get back into Manhattan -- without getting perforated, gutted, eaten, or worse -- spend two months looking for this mystery kid, and what do I have to show for it?

Exactly, precisely dick. That's what.

Nice one, God. Hope You got a good fucking chuckle out of this one.

Went by the old neighborhood today. Or rather, what’s left of it. Didn’t leave much after the culling that was just starting up when Rachel and I bugged out of here.

My old block’s been pretty much leveled. I boosted some binoculars from some drugged out punk on the street. He was drooling some kind of orange foam all over himself, and gibbering about how pretty golf clubs were. I figured he wouldn’t mind parting with the specs.

I went up to the roof of a building on an adjacent block, and scoped out what’s left, which isn’t fucking much. About the only thing moving is a few Risen wandering around aimlessly, and I think I caught a glimpse of one Beast still prowling. Other than that, it’s all just rubble.

Oh, well … good fucking riddance.

Going to lay a little low and see what I can find on the street. Last thing I heard was a rumor about some kind of weird kid wandering around Manhattan. No idea what definition of ‘weird’ was being used, but I figured it had to be Michael’s kid, and so here I am, wading through the same shit I was hoping to never have to see again, all for some goddamn kid I’ve never heard of before.

If God ain’t laughing at this, I hope to hell someone is.

Found a piece of shit hovel to hole up in for the time being. It’s dirty, and it’s roach infested, but it’s got one point of entry to guard, and it’s fairly secure from the shit outside.

Now what?

Yeah, I’ve got no fucking idea either.

Looking out what passes for a window, and there ain’t much that’s changed in the old neighborhood.

During the day, it’s pretty much like it always was. Occasional scream, a blow-job here, an ass job there, and a dismemberment thrown in just for good measure.

At night, the familiar sounds of "home" drift in from the crack under the door … or maybe it’s just the crackheads outside the door. Not sure which.

Started doing some limited scouting, but it’s kind of difficult to try and locate some shining super kid without attracting the wrong kind of attention to yourself – especially here.

Must have spent a little too much time in some actual fresh air, because I never noticed the stink of this place this much before. Smells like a fucking butcher shop that was abandoned to rot for a few summers, with the smell of some really bad barbecue thrown in for good measure. Of course, if you’ve got any Risen in the area, you get the lovely scent of rotting lemons added to the mix. Surprised I didn’t spend most of my time here puking my guts up.

Still, I think I was wrong. There is something different about the place. Never thought I’d say it, but it’s gotten worse since I’ve been gone. Not as many freaks running around, but the Risen seem to be more common. Also, the place looks more dilapidated than it did – like the buildings are rotting where they stand. Never would have figured it, what with Moloch’s love of organized torture, but this place is starting to fall to shit (yeah, I know, as if that particular decline hadn’t started a long time ago).

Maybe the Fallen Angels are just too busy with the war. Maybe they just don’t give a shit about keeping the souls they already have in line.

Maybe the world’s finally starting to die, and this whole shit will be over soon.

Yeah – like I could be that fucking lucky.

Wandered around for a few hours today (during the daylight – I’m still not THAT fucking crazy). No sign or sound of this miracle kid. Not many people out on the streets today – a few freaks looking to get laid, but that’s about it.

Tried to keep a fairly low profile, the whole time I kept thumbing the safety of the twelve gauge on and off. I carried the gun out in the open, just to discourage anyone from getting a little too curious.

Passed a building with a whore standing in a doorway. Not sure why they still call themselves whores, since no one actually pays to get laid anymore. Most of them are nymphos that would fuck anything, with or without a pulse, just to get a cock stuffed in them.

The one standing in the doorway was a looker – strange for these times. No open sores, nice curves, long dark hair, shapely legs, nice tits – didn’t look like she’d been beaten recently. Made me actually raise an eyebrow until I saw her eyes, which were solid blood red.

Succubus. Great.

Turned my head when the cat calls started, but her aura was already starting to tug at my zipper. Succubi radiate a raw sexuality that’s pretty damn intense for any sex of human. Makes them damn hard to resist. I had turned my head, but not before catching a glimpse of her pussy when she lifted her skirt. Caused a shiver to run through me that felt a little too good, so I sped my stride up a little to get past her.

Now normally, my general attitude about these fucks is enough to resist anything they’ve got to throw at me, but I have to admit, I nearly broke when she told me she’d suck my dick so deep that I’d be able to fuck her from the inside out.

Give me a break – I’m still a man, for Christ’s sake.

Anyway, she didn’t follow, and the want subsided the further away from her I got. Just needed to remind myself to take the long way home.

The rest of the day passed pretty smoothly. Didn’t come near too many Risen, and there weren’t enough freaks on the streets to cause much of a problem. Didn’t even have to waste any shells on them before circling back.

Unfortunately, I also didn’t get any closer to finding this damn kid.

Really starting to question what the fuck I’m doing here.

One more day, and still nada.

No sign of the kid, no signs from Michael, no fucking nada.

Probably going to pack up and move on in the morning. See if I can’t find another hidey hole to squat in, so that I can scout out some more territory.

Funny part is, I still can’t figure out why the hell I’m doing this. Never really considered myself to be much of a follower.

When it comes right down to it, all following is, is coughing up control of your destiny to someone else. And I don’t give a shit about what kind of propaganda it’s wrapped up in, God and Lucifer both want the same fucking thing – for you to follow them.

Sure, they dress it up differently. God tells you to follow Him, or you’re gonna burn in Hell. Yeah, nice fucking sales pitch. Do it or else.

Lucifer tells you to follow him, and you’ll get your dick sucked on by Lola the eight breasted whore of Altair Six until the end of Time.

Hmmmm …’do it or else’, or ‘do it for a hummer’ … no wonder so many people went over to Satan’s side. At least he knows marketing.

Doesn’t really matter, because it all means signing yourself over to someone else’s control. Both God and Lucifer have one thing in common in their bullshit – ‘Do what I say’. And if you think there’s ever been anything else behind the shit that either of them spins, then you’re a fucking moron.

I like to think that I don’t follow anyone, and yet here I am, running around, waist deep in fucking degenerates, looking for some kid for His All Fucking Holy Regalness.

Nice scam. He creates so-called ‘free will’, then threatens to send you to Hell if you don’t do what He wants you to. What the fuck is that all about? Somehow, it doesn’t quite fit into the whole all-forgiving bullshit that they used to spin to you in Sunday school. With that kind of attitude, I wouldn’t be surprised if Hitler turned out to be the son of God.

And then you’ve got Lucifer, who promises the world to you if you do what he says. Of course, no one who falls for his bullshit seems to remember that whole ‘Father of Lies’ nickname, and they’re all kinds of surprised when things don’t quite turn out the way they thought they would in the end.

Sorry, asshole. You should’ve read the fine print.

In the end, it’s all bullshit. You’ve got to find your own path, and you can’t rely on anyone outside of your skin.

I never was one for religion. Never even knew for sure if I really believed in it at all. Of course, that one pretty much got laid to rest when the big scaly fuckers started tearing everything apart left and right. When God’s boys showed up to meet them, well that sealed the argument, but it still didn’t give any kind of reason to follow either of them.

Oh sure, Lucifer will give you all kinds of stuff while you’re here. But I’ve seen what happens to the souls that he can’t milk for whatever reason, and it ain’t pretty.

Then you’ve got the God Squad claiming to be warring for cause of Good, or some such shit. All the while, they’re hacking through anyone unfortunate enough to get in their way.

Their excuse? "He or she has gone to a better place."

I’m sure that meant a lot when you ripped out his or her fucking intestines while trying to kill a Beast, or a demon, or whatever the fuck you were after.

The script is different, boys and girls, but the bullshit is all the same, right down to the message behind it. And the sooner you understand that, the easier it will be to swallow the fact that neither side gives a rat’s ass about us.

It’s like Michael said. This is about Lucifer trying to prove a fucking point.

And here I am, like a good little fucking puppet, risking my ass trying to find some super kid for a God that’s already fucked me over more than once.

Excuse me while I go sing some fucking hoseas.

Enough ranting for one night. I’m moving out in the morning.